Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
These are musical compositions. A selection of musical instructions on the bottom composition at different points include:
'release the penguins'
'If there is a third clarinet some violins may go'
'Coronet use ice'
'mute out, mute in'
'Have a nice day'
'rests are imaginary'
The composer's name is John Stump.
It flies with eight contrarotating propellers fitted to four turboprop engines.
These amazing engines propel it to nearly supersonic speeds.
It is the fastest propeller driven aircraft ever to be manufactured.
People say It is so loud that submarines often hear it with with their sonars.
Monday, June 25, 2007
There's a lot of disagreement among scholars as to the circumstances under which the Tao Te Ching was first recorded.
I am fortunate to know the real story.
It was November 11th 1975, just outside the Icelandic port of Seyðisfjörður. Lao Tzu, a very old man, decided to die in the sea, somewhere between Iceland and Great Britain, commenting quite profoundly on the senselessness of the third cod war.
At one point, he was spotted in the middle of a graceful backstroke alongside a lengthy fishing trawler with 81 people aboard.
The people all lined up along the starboard side to see this ancient bearded Chinese man swimming effortlessly in force nine gale winds.
To each crew member he issued personal and relevant wisdom.
To the eleventh person lined up against the guardrail on the starboard side of the ship, he recited the following passage:
In the hub of a wheel;
But the use of the cart
Will depend on the part
Of the hub that is void.
With a wall all around
A clay bowl is molded;
But the use of the bowl
Will depend on the part
Of the bowl that is void.
Cut out windows and doors
In the house as you build;
But the use of the house
Will depend on the space
In the walls that is void.
So advantage is had
From whatever is there;
But usefulness rises
From whatever is not.
When he had spoken briefly with all 81 members of the crew, he swam further into the ocean and died. The third cod war ended soon afterwards.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Rightfully so, my dreams, (respecting the uncompromising duality of nature) saw to it that I was incapable of seeing people while I slept.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I had another dream.
I was wearing horn-rimmed glasses.
I felt very good about the shapes I was presenting to the world.
I pointed at a bird and identified it as a pileated woodpecker.
A jerk laughed and said it was a seagull. When I lowered my head and looked over the tops of my horn-rimmed glasses at the sky, sure enough, it was a seagull and not a pileated woodpecker.
I began to question my sanity and I thought taking off the glasses might help.
As soon as I thought about taking off the glasses I woke to the sound of an amazing windstorm outside that turned out to be a very large truck.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
People called him 'The Great Stone Face' presumably, because his expression was quite immovable when something was funny. That being said, I will not rule out the possibility that there might be more reasons why people called him the Great Stone Face.
Anyway, it's not as if he never smiled. This is a certified hard-to-find picture of him both smiling and laughing.
The important thing to remember here is that he played cards the night before he died in 1966.
I imagine he would be very skilled at a number of cardgames.
I wonder if conclusions can be drawn between the cardgame and his death the following day.
After pressing the Enter button six times and thinking it over,
I'm quite convinced conclusions could and should be drawn.
But I won't draw them, I drew this instead.
I'd like to eat raisin bran.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
I woke up freezing in a thick terrible sweat with very tight dread in my chest.
I think those're large containers full of individual soda cans slipping out the back of that plane.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
That is not a rainbow in the distance.
That is a physical manifestation of ideology.
That is a massive WD40 nozzle-straw tapped into an otherworldly lubricant source
It is aimed directly into a distant Chinese railyard. Its nozzle greases the rails of reality.
These rails were so greasy that the locomotives, heavy with the hopes and dreams of people,
hardly touched the rails.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
When I get out of the shower, something awful strange happens.
I've been grabbing a little bottle of drugstore painkillers.
Acetaminophen or ibuprofen, something like that, I'm not even sure.
It's there, right off to the left of the sink. They've been there for months.
Sometimes I use them, if I have some mild pain, say, a headache.
But when I get out of the shower, I am not in pain!
This is a great mystery to me.
It's reflexive, it seems!
I don't even realize I'm doing it until my hand is on the bottle.
The first day it happened, I actually had two in my mouth before I realized I was doing something I didn't plan.
It's strange. I normally take time in the shower to plot things out.
To arrange a short term set of motions I will perform while I think about something else.
I usually plan to shave, brush my teeth, take out the garbage, put on the laundry, wash some dishes, close the windows? You know?
It is not unusual that I leave the shower and do some things without really thinking about them while doing them. But they're planned in the shower, I've approved them all.
But I don't even remember thinking about painkillers in the shower. Or when I wake up.
Or in my dreams, even.
Is my body trying to tell me something?
Am I in a pain I do not recognize?
Maybe I've been wounded on my back and most of me isn't registering the pain?
Do I dream in headaches?
Have pharmaceutical companies placed a bet?
Half of this is a silly joke for the Internet.
Half is very serious worry.
don't even know which half is which anymore.
Because I have a headache.
When I converse with a person,
They shoot out some language and it makes some sounds in my head.
If it's one I know, I'd like to think I understand it.
That's how talking works.
Given this, plenty of other things speak to me.
When I learned to read in English, I discovered much to my horror, that I couldn't look at words without reading them anymore.
That's the way it works.
From that point on, I could no longer simply look at words.
They spoke to me, made sounds in my head and I understood them.
So, I found my shoes today to put them on so I could leave the house.
There were words right on the soles looking up at me. They were printed on orange and yellow card, sneakily behind a clear layer of some sort of Technocomfort gel.
I found them speaking to me.
This is what the left and right shoes said to me respectively:
These shoes do it all!
ALL MOTION COMFORT"
These shoes do it all!
ALL MOTION COMFORT"
Talk to you later.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
There's alot of colour in food and drink.
It must go somewhere.
Is it reflected in what I wear?
Maybe the direction in which I brush my teeth?
The palette I use?
Maybe the mood I sport?
If I were a scientist, I'd fully document my nutrition.
I'd chart the colours, quite scientifically.
I'd recalibrate my monitor, so as to be sure to represent the colours accurately.
Luckily, I am not a scientist. As an artist, I ask questions and eat pasta.
I intend to gently leak the colours of food and drink into drawings.
Otherwise, there's no telling when my body might explode, blowing rainbow shrapnel into good people's faces.