These last few days
When I get out of the shower, something awful strange happens.
I've been grabbing a little bottle of drugstore painkillers.
Acetaminophen or ibuprofen, something like that, I'm not even sure.
It's there, right off to the left of the sink. They've been there for months.
Sometimes I use them, if I have some mild pain, say, a headache.
But when I get out of the shower, I am not in pain!
This is a great mystery to me.
It's reflexive, it seems!
I don't even realize I'm doing it until my hand is on the bottle.
The first day it happened, I actually had two in my mouth before I realized I was doing something I didn't plan.
It's strange. I normally take time in the shower to plot things out.
To arrange a short term set of motions I will perform while I think about something else.
I usually plan to shave, brush my teeth, take out the garbage, put on the laundry, wash some dishes, close the windows? You know?
It is not unusual that I leave the shower and do some things without really thinking about them while doing them. But they're planned in the shower, I've approved them all.
But I don't even remember thinking about painkillers in the shower. Or when I wake up.
Or in my dreams, even.
Is my body trying to tell me something?
Am I in a pain I do not recognize?
Maybe I've been wounded on my back and most of me isn't registering the pain?
Do I dream in headaches?
Have pharmaceutical companies placed a bet?
Half of this is a silly joke for the Internet.
Half is very serious worry.
don't even know which half is which anymore.
Because I have a headache.